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About Deviant Artist Matthew K. Garner34/Male/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 9 Years
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Matthew K. Garner
United States
Name: Matthew K. Garner. The "K" stands for "Kill you if you ask what the 'K' stands for."
Age: Old enough to know better.
Occupation: Toastmaster General.
Residence: In that old shoebox under your bed.
Likes: Humor, the inevitability of death.
Dislikes: Being alive, being stabbed in the eye with a protractor.
Skills: Voice imitation, laser eye beams.
Weaknesses: Manic depression.
Quote: "Question the Majority!"

I know I’ve burned a lot of bridges here within the past year or so (and I mean a LOT of bridges), but if anyone out there still considers me worth your time, I have a small request.

My third child is going to be born within the next couple of days and already my wife and I are in a spot of trouble economically. She’s on maternity leave, obviously, and I’m too busy running around the apartment like a maniac to keep her and the first two kids happy and healthy to find any time to devote to artwork worth paying for. So, much as I hate to ask, it would be much appreciated if anyone out there could see it in their hearts to donate a little cash to keep us going through the next month.

Again, I hate to ask this. I’ve changed a lot over the past couple of years and it’s not as though I’m contributing anything artistically these days. Like I said, I can’t even find the time or energy to do commissions (I could draw for you, but it would be so horrible, I’d feel like I’m ripping you off). Unfortunately, we’re very strapped for cash now and… yadda yadda, you know how it goes.

If you want to help, my PayPal email address is . If you don’t want to help, then I don’t blame you. Thanks for your time, folks.

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brentcherry Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2016  Professional Interface Designer
Thanks so much for the watch! :D
FractiousLemon Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2016
You're very welcome!
haleigh426 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2016  Hobbyist Filmographer
Do you like Toonstruck?
FractiousLemon Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2016
The point-and-click adventure game? Yes! It's hilarious!
haleigh426 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2016  Hobbyist Filmographer

Who was your favorite character?
FractiousLemon Featured By Owner 6 days ago
It's been a while since I've played it, so I can't recall off the top of my head. Probably the smart-alec octopus who runs the arcade, but that may just be due to the fact that I love Dom Deluise so much. Hehe.
(1 Reply)
Flashshadow Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday! :party: :iconfuncakeplz: :party: 
PLCTheCd Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2016  Hobbyist Writer

I shall drink to your health on your birthday!


SlimeyJenkins Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy Birthday
Waffle-With-Big-Arms Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2016
Happy birthday!
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