Age: Old enough to know better.
Occupation: Toastmaster General.
Residence: In that old shoebox under your bed.
Likes: Humor, the inevitability of death.
Dislikes: Being alive, being stabbed in the eye with a protractor.
Skills: Voice imitation, laser eye beams.
Weaknesses: Manic depression.
Catch Phrase: "I need a new catch phrase."